Now Here This…

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Perhaps, the most famous church bulletin blooper (and one that invariably makes every list) is attributed to Calvary Memorial Church in Racine, Wisconsin. When missionary Bertha Belch was scheduled to speak, the bulletin exhorted members to “Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.”

Thankfully, church bulletin writers continue to add to the brimming bucket of bulletin bloopers on a constant basis, and so we bring you a collection of more recent vintage, along with a few of the classics. . .

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery down stairs.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Don’t let worry kill you off—let the church help.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Wednesday the Ladies’ Liturgy Group will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, “Put Me in My Little Bed” accompanied by the Pastor.

The service will close with, “Little Drops of Water.” One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I upped My Pledge—Up Yours.”

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

This week’s saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God’s Mother). They include single people and married people. Bridget was a wife and mother. Mary was a virgin and virgin mother. If they could do it, so can we.